My best friend is the type of person who has a multitude of WHAT THE HELL moments in her life, but this one has definitely surpassed all others.
So my friend and her boyfriend have been dating about 2.5 years, and because she's opposed to actual intercourse so she can save her virginity for her husband, they've only had dry sex. It's something like one or both of them wear underwear, and her boyfriend just rubs his penis against her or he presses the head against her while he's wearing a condom.
The other night they were doing what they usually do, and it felt different to her. She felt like the head of his penis was pressing harder against her vaginal opening, and it felt better than it usually did. He eventually finished and looked very uncomfortable before he told her that he didn't know if they just had sex. What?! She asked him what he was talking about, and he admitted to her that while they were having what she thought was dry sex, he had kept pressing harder until his entire penis was inside her (while his boxers were on his penis) because it felt so good.
My friend was stunned and confused because she had no idea that his penis had actually entered her. She doesn't know what it means because 1) she didn't know it was happening, 2) she thought it felt good and didn't tell him to stop, and 3) they did it while he was wearing boxers. She doesn't feel like she was raped because she hadn't told him to stop (because she didn't know what was happening) and because she doesn't feel utter disgust and hatred for him, which she thinks rape victims typically feel for their rapists. However, she'll have moments where she'll become angry with him because he did that to her when he knew she didn't want it, and she'll feel remorseful for what happened.
I wish I could give her an answer, but it doesn't make her feel at peace when I tell her that I think that having sex is okay. Did they have sex, and is she a virgin? Is it unfair for her future boyfriends/husband to hold what happened against her? Is it fair for her to tell people that she's a virgin?
P.S. I've already made the small penis jokes that go along with "But I didn't know he was inside me." Turns out he's average-sized, anyways.
P.P.S. Has anyone else ever had a friend who accidentally lost their virginity/had sex and didn't know it?